Sornie's Thoughts

epic: (via snacks111)

Sat, 05 Jun 2010 10:00:00 -0500

On pointless paperwork

Tue, 30 Mar 2010 01:00:00 -0500

It began with a two-week (I think it’s two weeks) push to make my department “more productive” and find out “where our time is being spent” (why we aren’t finishing all work that is turned in every damn day in 7.5 hours regardless of extenuating circumstances such as breathing, an occasional break or - wait for it - being creative). That where the tracking sheets came in to play. I actually crumpled one up in front of the person who distributed them and said pointless paperwork wasn’t in my job description. The look I received from that was priceless - apparently it was what everyone else was thinking.

But being a good little drone, I have since followed suit and sloppily filled out the pointless bullshit. It’s just another distraction that, in the end, takes away from what I am actually paid to do. I could much more easily sum up where my time goes in the course of a day without filling out a rolling log of what I’m doing every minute of my workday. In a couple of short sentences I am constantly responding to emails, fixing the sloppy and unexcusable designs of others and holding everyone else’s hands because they don’t know how to do certain tasks.

I know that this latest edict comes under the prodding of a certain higher-up but would it kill my department’s manager to grow a fucking spine and go to bat for us JUST THIS ONCE? Apparently it would as my department’s manager is simply mailing it in and passing the buck as this person shows on a daily basis that they are incompetent, in far over their head and afraid of face to face confrontation. I can’t wait until my little one-on-one meeting this week or next week. Hell, with the way my department’s manager deals with stuff, it will get pushed off and never happen because there’s a chance of confrontation and having to answer questions from me.

It makes me want to call in sick for the rest of the week and see how long it is until someone freaks out because they can’t figure out how I do what I do. I’m sadistic that way - I love to see other flop around like a fish out of water because it’s the sweetest form of revenge.

Or maybe one tiny thing, a work log, pushed me so far over the edge that there’s no chance of saving me. This must be why people move to the woods of Montana and fall off the proverbial radar.

Dear Old People.

Fri, 28 Aug 2009 11:21:23 -0500

edkohler:

suitep:

We don’t want to kill you. You’re our parents and grandparents and we love you. But if you throw a cranky fit and keep us from getting decent, affordable health care, you can figure out how to work your own goddamn PCs and cable boxes and remote controls from now on.

And it wouldn’t hurt if you’d stop being so bigoted and so freaked out about having a black president too. We understand this would have been impossible in your day, but that’s a long way from him being a Communist. Or an Al Qaeda sleeper agent. Or Hitler. It’s embarrassing, and this kind of stuff is why we don’t bring the grandkids around more. They miss you and we’d all like it if you were a bigger part of their lives, but we don’t want them to grow up thinking that way.

(via)

On typography

Thu, 30 Jul 2009 14:14:42 -0500

A new experiment is in order. Because nobody gives a damn about design any more, I will only use shitty system fonts (from Windows) like Arial and Times.

On moving

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 09:14:53 -0500

Moving sucks. It makes you realize just how much crap you own and it really makes you consider simply pitching about half of it into the nearest dumpster.

Moving sucks even more when it’s not your own stuff. Especially when you realize, after dropping one of the boxes, that far too many of the boxes are filled with magazines. Issues of fucking Maxim. Lots of issues of Maxim.

Moving sucks even more whn you clear out two rooms stacked completely full of boxes in less than five hours.

"My wife and I are trying to get pregnant again she wants to have sex no less that 5 or 6 times a..."

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 09:08:10 -0500

“

My wife and I are trying to get pregnant again she wants to have sex no less that 5 or 6 times a day! I’m exhausted and my johnson (can we say johnson on here?) is rubbed raw and a little swolen.

Are there any serious long term health risks associated with having too much sex?

Is it even possible to have too much sex?

If so what is the upper limit?

Is it possible to get chafed to the point of no return? (ie lose all feeling to the point of no longer being able to achieve orgasm)

Please, only serious responses.

”

- I recommend corn starch for the chaffing.” was one of the serious responses. (via edkohler)

Being an Austinite myself, I have to regretfully say that these...

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 08:36:51 -0500

Being an Austinite myself, I have to regretfully say that these two underpasses on Oakland Ave. East (old U.S. Highway 16) have been filled in. Apparently one too many floods filled them with water.

edkohler:

Underpasses don’t get much respect in the postcard world these days.

via Penny Postcards from MN

Sometimes I Hate E-mail

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 08:32:04 -0500

derusha:

There was a time when people who were angry about a minor error in one of my TV reports, they didn’t have a lot of options.

Complain to their spouse

Pick up the phone and call the newsroom

Write a letter

Today, with e-mail, viewers can send obnoxious notes without even thinking about it. For example, this note:

Hi
Spelling is obviously no longer considered to be a part of good journalism.
Power Point bullet highlights can be useful, but I would recommend doing a spell check first or it only magnifies errors.
You had Suprise. Most 5th graders can spell this word correctly - s u r p r i s e
Good Luck with your career
Steve K****
Minneapolis

I responded in a nice way, taking responsibility. I wish I could have responded like this.
Hi. (note the period I put after the word “Hi.” It’s called a sentence. Look into it.)

Courtesy is obviously no longer considered to be a part of good citizenship.

I don’t type the words on the screen, so I’m not sure you can associate one mispelled word with journalism. Also, most people in TV can’t spell at a 5th grade level, so cut us some slak.

Good Luck with being a douche.
Jason D
WCCO

Seriously. Who uses the time stamp on their digital photos?

Mon, 08 Jun 2009 15:16:23 -0500

Seriously. Who uses the time stamp on their digital photos?

s4xton: Bing sets New Record in Horizontal Scaling Truly...

Fri, 05 Jun 2009 15:10:21 -0500

s4xton:

Bing sets New Record in Horizontal Scaling

Truly disgusting.

It would seem that Microsoft is the record holder here but that right belongs to a former co-worker.

On maturity

Mon, 04 May 2009 14:50:12 -0500

It seems almost sad to me when a co-worker can’t accept the fact that someone else’s work was judged to be better and throws what could be considered an adult-sized hissy fit.

On chicken

Thu, 30 Apr 2009 10:57:00 -0500

Wait a minute. There’s a Popeye’s Chicken in Minnesota?

On retirement

Wed, 29 Apr 2009 15:07:00 -0500

401(k) company match contribution was just suspended. Will it ever come back or are we entering a new era of “fuck it, employees can deal with it on their own”?

On bathrooms

Thu, 23 Apr 2009 12:52:30 -0500

I’m thinking that last trip is gonna result in some stained porcelain.

edkohler: jss :holleewoodworld: “My boobs are good. They’re...

Mon, 20 Apr 2009 12:15:36 -0500

edkohler:

jss

:holleewoodworld:

“My boobs are good. They’re real and perky. Even if you can’t see them, the important thing is that I know about them, and the guys I’ve slept with know about them.”

— Chelsea Handler in the May Allure.

I dunno. I can’t help but be sort of disappointed by Chelsea Handler. She’s so damn funny, but I feel like she’s trying to garner popularity through becoming a sex symbol. Why wasn’t being hilarious enough?

I would describe Chelsea Handler’s talents and her “talents” as multi-dimensional. She seems very expressive.

This photo truly makes me appreciate Chelsea Handler’s hotness level. Wow.

On that damned bird

Tue, 07 Apr 2009 16:01:19 -0500

The Cardinal outside my office window has been literally thrashing its body against said window for an entire week. It’s not injured. I think it’s incapable of finding a mate for its stupid self so that rules out protecting an egg-filled nest. This Cardinal obviously has a death wish.

What do birds see circling around their heads after getting injured?

On odors

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 14:24:56 -0500

If you drop one off in the men’s room that smells like a digested but full ash tray, have the damn decency to spray the air freshener sitting on the vanity.

On birds (again)

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 15:44:51 -0500

It just flew into the window at a high rate of speed.

There is silence.

For now.

On birds

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 15:43:06 -0500

I’m going to kill that damn bird chirping incessantly outside my office window.

on douchebags

Fri, 27 Mar 2009 12:57:47 -0500

I was just behind a vehicle with personalized license plates reading SEXY14U

Vain much?